do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
