what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just want to make out with him forever
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
