Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
