It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
