yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
