oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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