If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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