i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
