I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
