I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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