He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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