My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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