I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize