so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
did i just pee glitter
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
