I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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