Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Randomize
