Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
