you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
