It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's just like the Real World with babies
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
