I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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