remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
