i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
