my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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