why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
