I want to walk on stilts...naked
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
