apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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