Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he shaved USA in his pubs
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
