i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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