so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
