Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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