I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
