So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
