I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There r osticjed everywhere
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
