Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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