grandma shit on top of the toilet
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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