drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
