Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i drank out of a bidet.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
