Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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