The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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