im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
