I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
