so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
