Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
