I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
