physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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