chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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