I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
