question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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