didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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