Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
